Leaving a Legacy - Aloha & Mahalo Dee!
By Sybil Nishioka, Editor

[Chronicle, July 14, 2022]  After 56 years of living in the islands, Delia "Dee" Chang, the widow of Bishop Richard Chang, bid a fond aloha to the place and people she has known for most of her life.  On June 24, with her worldly possessions long packed, she boarded a flight to Georgia. Moving was an extremely difficult decision for Dee who was torn between the life and relationships she built through the decades, and the call of family and loved ones so far away. 

"Dick and I had always wanted to 'Age in Place' in our 'nest' on the 11th floor overlooking Honolulu," shared Dee, "but especially through Covid, as many had done, I took a closer look at my future.  Living alone through Covid is difficult, but with isolation continuing into the future, and with a lot of strong-arming by our daughters, I came to the conclusion that I should be living the rest of my life closer to one of them, but in a community."

Her two daughters, Holly and Hannah, began urging their mom to move last Thanksgiving, making the case that she was too far away from either of them, and that although she visited regularly, it took time and money.  They wanted her to move closer to one or the other. 

After doing extensive online research on senior living communities, Dee went to visit several sites in March, and found a match with Brandon Wilde, a continuing care community of about 350 people in Evans, Georgia.  It's about 6 miles from her youngest daughter Hannah, Jim, and grandchildren, Jimmy (12) and Abby (10). 

"Right now renovations are taking place to my apartment so that when I move in the beginning of August, it will be just as I want it," said Dee, the consummate planner.  "Although I go in as living independently, as my needs increase, I will be moving on up to assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing care and hospice.  None of those moves will mean more than a 500' move!"  

As we chatted via Zoom, I couldn't help but appreciate Dee's graciousness and calm demeanor that has never changed in the 25 years that I've known her.  She radiates an aura of peace and kindness that I am sure helped ground her husband whose career was filled with challenges that most of us will hopefully never have to deal with.  Here in the Diocese, she leaves a big heart-shaped hole and will be deeply missed.

About Dee...

Delia Morrish was born in St. Louis, MO, the second of two daughters.  Within a year, the family moved to Maplewood, NJ, closer to New York City where her father was starting a new job.  Unfortunately, he suffered a major heart attack at the young age of 42, and spent six weeks in the hospital. The family decided to move further into the countryside to New Providence, NJ.  There Dee was part of the first graduating class of New Providence High School!  She later graduated from Syracuse University in Elementary Education, and taught for two years in Plainfield, NJ. 

​"In the intervening summer, 1965, I spent ten weeks traveling around the world by myself.  I was in Hawai'i for three days and fell in love with it," said Dee.  "I went back to New Jersey and started applying for teaching positions in Honolulu, and Dr. John Fox offered me a position teaching first grade at Punahou.  I taught Summer School in 1966, and had a little  boy in my class by the name of 'Barry' Obama.  I didn't even realize it until a couple of days before his election as President that I started figuring out the summer year I taught him."

As a cradle Episcopalian, Dee began worshiping at Holy Nativity in Aina Haina.  Little did she know the plans God had in store for her. 

"Everybody has a home. It could be where you were born; it could be where you spent your childhood; it could be thousands of miles away from where you ever thought you'd be in the world, and yet... the feeling I got when I moved here in 1966, within a week, I knew this was going to be home."  - Dee Chang, June 2022

​(The following are excerpts from interviews and online communication... in Dee's own words.)​

POV looking back... life as a wife of a priest, administrator and bishop

​Father Chang and I met at Holy Nativity Church two weeks after he graduated from seminary.  For two years he was Father Chang.  The third year I finally worked up the courage to call him Dick.  He married a friend of mine on R & R from Vietnam during Holy Week 1969.  We all went out together that night, and the next night the couple and Dick came to my show in Waikiki.  We skipped Saturday, but started dating on Easter Sunday, and after three weeks, we decided to get married.  We were married in August 1969.  My first grade class from Punahou was the choir for the wedding.  

In 1970 Dick was called to be rector of All Saints' Church in Kapa'a, Kaua'i, and we loved living there.  Both Holly and Hannah were born there and we spent eight years as happy as clams.  He was also Vicar at Christ Church, Kilauea, and St. Thomas Church in Hanalei. ​

When Ed Browning was elected Bishop of Hawai'i in 1976, he called Dick asking him to consider moving back to O'ahu to work with him at the Diocesan office.  I asked Dick what he told Ed, and he said he told him no.  As I said, we were as happy as clams on Kaua'i.  Within an hour or so, he received another call from Ed and explained why we were not going to make the move.  First of all, we were happy on Kaua'i, and had just signed a contract to build a home there on a property we had bought; the girls were established and doing well in school, and I had just started a new job at Lihue airport.  He again said no.  That Friday, there was a knock on our door about 4:00 PM, and Ed and his wife Patti walked in, armed with a bottle of Jack Daniels.  As he walked to the dining room table, Ed announced, "Now, let's talk."

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​Ed was very persuasive in explaining what God wanted Dick to do.  We moved back to O'ahu just after Christmas.  We built our house in Kahalu'u, the same one we had designed and signed for on Kaua'i.  Dick worked in Honolulu with Ed until his election as Presiding Bishop in 1985, and asked Dick to come to New York City to work with him there.  Patti and I stayed on O'ahu until our kids were out of 'Iolani, and then we moved East.  From January to June, Ed and Dick lived as "The Episcopal Odd Couple."  Dick did the cooking and Ed did the laundry.  The girls and I and Patti and their youngest son, John, moved into 815* in June.  From there we moved to Montclair, NJ, to rent a house close to the girls' schools, and stayed there until Dick was elected Bishop of Hawai'i in 1996.  Holly and Hannah were both out of college and living on their own by then.  (*815 is the address of The Episcopal Church headquarters, 815 Second Avenue, New York, NY.)

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​Being a clergy wife of a parish priest at Holy Nativity and then All Saints', Christ Memorial, and St. Thomas, was different from the rest of Dick's career.  As a priest's wife, honestly, with young children, it was all I could do to raise our active girls through the time they were in school full time, first and third grade.  With Dick's office in the house, we could always walk in on him to ask him questions or just visit.  I could walk next door to the store and leave him in charge of the girls while I picked up some milk or something. 

​Dick also babysat while I attended Kaua'i Community College (KCC) studying Hawaiian language, and later brushing up on my typing and shorthand in anticipation of working a secretarial job.  I babysat while he studied Ilocano language at KCC.  We had wonderful neighbors and a compacompa garden with one of them behind our homes.  Good times.

​We were living on church grounds  and we often had church meetings in our living room or dining room, and I also tried to go to all the services as Dick's cheering section.  Sometimes, with the girls cheering or talking loudly, he knew we were there!  We also had a Christmas open house after the last of the Christmas services and people came from not only Kapa'a, but the other two churches as well.  I sometimes met with other clergy wives on the island, but since we all had small children, it was usually a noisy gathering.

Being the wife of a priest in an administrative position was different than that of a parish priest.  We would go to church together on Sunday, but often, Dick was not celebrating.  It really is nice to sit in the congregation and share bread and wine with your husband.  In most clergy families, that doesn't happen, and I was delighted to celebrate the Eucharist and eat it together.  Because Dick spent 7-8 years in Honolulu, it was a common occurrence for our family.
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When he went to New York City to the National Church Headquarters, he traveled with Ed all over the country, and nearly always on weekends, so we were rarely together on weekends.  During the winter, I could guarantee that it would snow on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, and that meant me shovelling snow!  Part of an administrator's duties and all that! 

The girls and I usually went to church alone.  I even served on the vestry!  I also founded and ran my company, ProMeet, Inc., in New Jersey, and started teaching and writing about administering and running meetings and conventions, and even developed and taught it on the college level.  I was active in Meeting Professionals International, the trade organization for those in Meeting Management, both on the Planner and Supplier side.

In 1996, Dick was a candidate for the bishop of Hawai'i.  We were both really shocked when Fr. Tim Quintero called us on the day of the election and said, "I wanted to be the first one to call you my Bishop."   Dick had told Tim that if it were a close election and promising to be a long antagonistic  process, to withdraw his name from consideration, so you could have knocked either of us over with a feather upon hearing the news.  We had a turkey happily cooking away in our kamado on the back porch to celebrate the end of the process no matter what the outcome was, but by the time we finished making calls and answering others, it had overcooked.  We were numb for quite a while, but delighted that we were returning home.

I promised Dick that I would give him my first year in Hawai'i, and travel with him when he visited churches.  Our girls were independent by then; one married, the other in the Army, and I held off starting up my ProMeetHi company in Hawai'i for the first year.  I did help to start the Meeting Professionals International Aloha Chapter the second year in Hawai'i, but very intentionally kept it small.  ​

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I loved going around with Dick to the churches and meeting the many, many devoted Episcopalians in the islands.  We hosted a number of dinners in our condo for clergy, spouses and partners, mixing up ages, experience, male, female, conservative and liberal, to encourage communication in a safe atmosphere.  So much of Dick's time initially and for a few years following, was spent very quietly and confidentially, seeking pono on the [Episcopal] Homes mess, financial, legal, and personal, and he couldn't talk about any of it.  Even when everything was settled, he came home and said, "It is over," and that is all he said.  He didn't say anything to the Diocese until weeks or months later, but I'm sure Jack Lockwood and Peter Pereira knew about it, and perhaps a few others.  He was so relieved to know that he could spend 100% of his time tending to his flock rather than tending to court, negotiations, etc.  Talk about a weight being lifted off your shoulders.  It was that. 

I continued traveling with Dick throughout the islands, to Lambeth Conference, to General Conventions, and House of Bishops meetings, and became involved in the Bishops' Spouses group, planning meetings for them parallel or at different times as Bishops' meetings.  I found a wonderful support group in other bishops' spouses, especially since the nearest one was more than 2,500 miles away.  I could always count on one of the Province VIII spouses calling me or me calling one of them and saying, "You'll never guess what happened!"  It was wonderful to  be able to speak freely knowing confidences would be guarded with their lives and mine.

Memorable moments...

​I remember going in for a CAT scan and the administrator asking, "Do you want to watch a movie or listen to music?"  I declined, and while in that noisy atmosphere, just closed my eyes and remembered one thing after another of good memories, like my own personal slide show.  When the CAT scan was finished, the administrator said to me, "I've never seen anyone smile so much during the procedure!"  I told her that I had been blessed with wonderful memories, and that's what brought the smiles. 

I can't even begin to list  these special moments--there are so many... of course, the family I was born into, marrying Dick, our two extraordinary daughters, our four grandchildren, successful surgeries, incredible travels, reading while sitting next to Dick, enjoying the sunrises and sunsets in this island home of ours, smelling the flowers, Dick's parents, friends and family, so much that brings smiles to my life every day.  There is just so much to be thankful for in this lifetime.

I have found, especially since Dick died in 2017, that I can't start my prayers with anything other than, "Thank you."  Even that is not adequate.  

Looking forward...

The Bishop of Georgia called me last week, and having found out that I was helping out with the retired clergy here, he wants me to get involved with the retired clergy in his Diocese.  He's already invited me to a retreat of retired clergy and spouses/partners in Savannah this October. 

Brandon Wilde has so much going on daily which I can participate in or not, including water exercise, which I love in an indoor glass-enclosed pool, 78 acres to walk around, Bible study 4-5 times a week, Episcopal communion service at least twice a month, nearby performances of music and stage, travel groups, musical programs, presentations by nearby college professors, and clubs of every description (canasta, bridge, poker, knitting, crocheting, etc.).  The food is all farm to table, beautifully and lovingly prepared.  The upper level of care facilities are right there, so I am hoping that as my needs increase, I won't have to move more than 500 feet or so! 

Eventually, I'll be back in an urn to be inurned next to Dick and Ed Browning.  

A bit of advice to clergy and spouses/partners

I'd especially like to encourage the clergy and spouses/partners to attend every possible ordination, consecration, and funeral of clergy and clergy spouses/partners.  It was a given in Bishop Kennedy's time, and I've been embarrassed to go to more recent services and not see more of our clergy, spouse/partners (and lay) population.  We are God's family, and we need on-going support, not only at services, but later on as well. Call up a retired clergy or spouse, widow or widower, and just listen and talk story with them. God is in everyone's life, and showing it by caring in a caring way, couldn't be better support for those who have spent their lives serving the church.
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May God bless you and the Episcopal Church in Hawai'i.  
Aloha a hui ho!
​"D." Chang

p.s.  Don't forget to visit Dick's plot at The Cathedral.  I won't be going as often.

Aloha & Mahalo Dee: The Diocese bids a fond aloha

"​Thank you for everything you and your family did for All Saints' Church. I especilly remember the girls as they grew up during their time here.  All my best wishes to you and your family in the future!" - Lorna Ching, All Saints' Church

"Thank you for heping me in my youthful years at All Saints' Kapa'a; teaching us dining etiquette, Christian formation, and watching your beautiful daughters turn into ladies.  Can't forget Ipo, that endless loving Basset Hound, who became everyone's best friend - no prejudices. We will miss you but stop by whenever you return to Kaua'i." - Jean Sokei Nakamoto, All Saints' Church

From the Diocese's Chaplains to Retired Clergy & Families

Through the years, Dee was involved in many ministries and activities of the Diocese, community, and broader Episcopal Chruch.  Most recently, she was a part of the Diocese's Chaplains to Retired Clergy Families Ministry, and took part in the Church Pension Group's Conference in Minnesota this past May (see Chronicle article HERE).  Below, the Rev. Bruce DeGooyer, Coordinator for the team, shares a special message to Dee. 

At right, the Chaplains to Retired Clergy Families team are pictured here from left: The Rev. Bruce DeGooyer, Dee, The Rev. Carol Arney, The Rev. Heather Mueller, Norma Chun and The Rev. Canon Frank Chun

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Editor's note:  Mahalo to those across the Diocese who contributed their messages, photos and reflections for the video and this article.  A very special mahalo nui loa to Dee, who has always graciously opened her door and her heart to this reporter time and again, allowing me to pry into her life over the years.  God bless you Dee!