Brothers in Christ: Peter & Sandy's Story
By Sybil Nishioka, Editor
|
[August-October 2018 E-Chronicle] In 1991, Peter Pereira, could never have known that the choice he made back then would have life-saving consequences over 25 years later. Back then, he admits he was ambitious and worked hard, with money being a driving force. For 16 years, he buried himself in work, and everything else took a back seat including his family and church... but there was a gnawing feeling growing inside of him that something was lacking in his life. So in 1991, he made a life-changing decision to leave his lucrative job in the private sector and work for a non-profit, thinking that perhaps working for a Christian organization might help fill that void. That Christian organization was The Episcopal Diocese of Hawai'i, where Peter has served as its treasurer for the past 27 years!
Flash forward to the eve of Thanksgiving 2016: Peter receives a call from his doctor telling him he needs to go to the hospital right now! The doctor informs Peter that routine blood tests revealed that his kidneys were functioning at 14% and he was in stage 5 renal disease -- in other words, his kidneys were failing and death imminent without treatment or a transplant. Shocked and confused, he reluctantly left Thanksgiving preparations, thinking it had to be a mistake..after all, he felt fine! |
Sandy at left with Peter, in the breezeway of the Cathedral. (Contributed photo)
|
It was no mistake. By the time Peter started dialysis a few months later, his kidneys were functioning at only 5%, and the fight for his life had begun. Dialysis was brutal. He chose a process that could be done in the privacy of his home, but it entailed an intense daily regimen that involved a stomach tube, a highly sterile environment, and devoting hours of each day to his treatment. Peter's wife was at his side and for "heavy lifting" since he was instructed not to lift anything more than 10 pounds, but the side effects and struggle during this time could only be described as a living hell.
"It was torture," said Peter during my phone interview with him. With dialysis cleaning out everything from his blood including important minerals and vitamins, he experienced excruciating cramping almost daily; there were episodes of itching throughout every square inch of his body "even in my eyes" and it was driving him crazy! Thoughts of suicide crept in, and life as he knew it was a miserable existence, even when supplements eventually helped ease the symptoms. Yet during those darkest hours, Peter thought of Job from the Old Testament, whose suffering made his own, pale in comparison---and it gave him hope.
And the hope was real! Although there were over 500 people on the list for a kidney transplant in Hawai'i, 17 people stepped forward as potential donors for Peter. At the top of the list were his two brothers, and friends from work and church including four Episcopal clergy. Unfortunately, both of his brothers did not pass the preliminary testing, and as doctors went down the list, donors were being eliminated one by one. Peter's hopes were beginning to wane.
Meanwhile, the Rev. Cn. Alexander "Sandy" Graham, who had been called to serve as the Diocese's Canon for Congregational Life and Leadership just a few months before Peter learned about his failing kidneys, had himself signed up to be tested. As fate would have it, exactly one year later, on the eve of Thanksgiving 2017, Peter received a call that would once again change his life. Sandy was a match! The transplant would take place towards the end of January 2018.
Not only was Sandy a match, but he donated what doctors described to Peter as a "super kidney!" During the surgery, Sandy's kidney immediately began functioning in all aspects, and vital tubes that are usually left in place for two weeks to a month, were removed in a day. When doctors told Peter how lucky he was, he responded that it was not luck, but the power of prayer.
A couple weeks later, "Super Sandy" was back in the office sans one kidney, going about his busy schedule. The only thing holding him back were instructions from the doctor not to lift anything over 10 pounds for about a month, and not to fly for two months, which meant visits to neighbor island churches and attending conferences were out. He even participated in the Hapalua half-marathon on April 8, that in retrospect, he admits was a mistake. Doctors told him that it could take 6 months to a year to be back at 100% energy, but he is "super" afterall!
And the pain? Aside from the anticipated aching and discomfort, he remembers telling the nurse that the most pain he experienced was when they ripped off the medical tape from his leg. "I'm a relatively hairy guy," joked Sandy.
Peter would be going through a much longer recuperation process, but there was no denying that he now had a workhorse of a kidney. He recently returned to work and is happy to be back in the office. Thanks to the small but mighty staff, and especially to Rae Costa, Danny Casey and Jane Tonokawa who took over the bulk of his work, things ran smoothly. His workload has been lessened, which Peter admits is a great outcome from this experience. He is filled with unending gratitude and love for all the support he received, including the wonderful staff at Queen's Hospital and most especially, the donors who came forward.
As far as our unsung hero, Sandy is an example of all that we as Christians strive to be: generous, self-sacrificing, humble, and filled with love for one another. When asked what motivated him to do this, he responded, "I'm not sure - it just seems like the sort of thing we do. Jesus said if your neighbor has no shirt and you have two..."
Sandy's family echos that same spirit. His wife, the Rev. Heather Patton-Graham, wondered why he didn't bring up the subject (of being Peter's donor) earlier, and others in his immediate family were not surprised at all.
Peter has had a lot of time to reflect on his journey; the suffering and the selfless people who stepped forward to help him. He also sees how God used him as a way to help others. The potential donors who failed to pass were unaware of health issues that were identified only through the testing process, and are now receiving proper treatment.
We can never really know God's divine plans for us, and when Peter made that choice to apply to the Diocese of Hawai'i, he could have never known that a co-worker would save his life 27 years later. Says Peter, filled with a grateful heart, "We are forever brothers in Christ."
If you would like to learn more about kidney disease and how to become a possible donor, visit the National Kidney Foundation of Hawai'i HERE.
"It was torture," said Peter during my phone interview with him. With dialysis cleaning out everything from his blood including important minerals and vitamins, he experienced excruciating cramping almost daily; there were episodes of itching throughout every square inch of his body "even in my eyes" and it was driving him crazy! Thoughts of suicide crept in, and life as he knew it was a miserable existence, even when supplements eventually helped ease the symptoms. Yet during those darkest hours, Peter thought of Job from the Old Testament, whose suffering made his own, pale in comparison---and it gave him hope.
And the hope was real! Although there were over 500 people on the list for a kidney transplant in Hawai'i, 17 people stepped forward as potential donors for Peter. At the top of the list were his two brothers, and friends from work and church including four Episcopal clergy. Unfortunately, both of his brothers did not pass the preliminary testing, and as doctors went down the list, donors were being eliminated one by one. Peter's hopes were beginning to wane.
Meanwhile, the Rev. Cn. Alexander "Sandy" Graham, who had been called to serve as the Diocese's Canon for Congregational Life and Leadership just a few months before Peter learned about his failing kidneys, had himself signed up to be tested. As fate would have it, exactly one year later, on the eve of Thanksgiving 2017, Peter received a call that would once again change his life. Sandy was a match! The transplant would take place towards the end of January 2018.
Not only was Sandy a match, but he donated what doctors described to Peter as a "super kidney!" During the surgery, Sandy's kidney immediately began functioning in all aspects, and vital tubes that are usually left in place for two weeks to a month, were removed in a day. When doctors told Peter how lucky he was, he responded that it was not luck, but the power of prayer.
A couple weeks later, "Super Sandy" was back in the office sans one kidney, going about his busy schedule. The only thing holding him back were instructions from the doctor not to lift anything over 10 pounds for about a month, and not to fly for two months, which meant visits to neighbor island churches and attending conferences were out. He even participated in the Hapalua half-marathon on April 8, that in retrospect, he admits was a mistake. Doctors told him that it could take 6 months to a year to be back at 100% energy, but he is "super" afterall!
And the pain? Aside from the anticipated aching and discomfort, he remembers telling the nurse that the most pain he experienced was when they ripped off the medical tape from his leg. "I'm a relatively hairy guy," joked Sandy.
Peter would be going through a much longer recuperation process, but there was no denying that he now had a workhorse of a kidney. He recently returned to work and is happy to be back in the office. Thanks to the small but mighty staff, and especially to Rae Costa, Danny Casey and Jane Tonokawa who took over the bulk of his work, things ran smoothly. His workload has been lessened, which Peter admits is a great outcome from this experience. He is filled with unending gratitude and love for all the support he received, including the wonderful staff at Queen's Hospital and most especially, the donors who came forward.
As far as our unsung hero, Sandy is an example of all that we as Christians strive to be: generous, self-sacrificing, humble, and filled with love for one another. When asked what motivated him to do this, he responded, "I'm not sure - it just seems like the sort of thing we do. Jesus said if your neighbor has no shirt and you have two..."
Sandy's family echos that same spirit. His wife, the Rev. Heather Patton-Graham, wondered why he didn't bring up the subject (of being Peter's donor) earlier, and others in his immediate family were not surprised at all.
Peter has had a lot of time to reflect on his journey; the suffering and the selfless people who stepped forward to help him. He also sees how God used him as a way to help others. The potential donors who failed to pass were unaware of health issues that were identified only through the testing process, and are now receiving proper treatment.
We can never really know God's divine plans for us, and when Peter made that choice to apply to the Diocese of Hawai'i, he could have never known that a co-worker would save his life 27 years later. Says Peter, filled with a grateful heart, "We are forever brothers in Christ."
If you would like to learn more about kidney disease and how to become a possible donor, visit the National Kidney Foundation of Hawai'i HERE.
